JK (grue) wrote,

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CAUTION: Beware of AB

After reading Hillary's post concerning her recent enjoyment of WOW cheddar and sour cream potato chips, I hope those WOW thingys aren't made with olean. It wouldn't be your thighs to worry about... rather, making a run for the border would be of major concern.

Have any of you eaten products made with olean? In case you're not familiar with this wonderful breakthrough in foodstuff technology... olean is a supposed cholesterol-free additive that is used in place of nasty artery-plugging junk used in so many junk foods.

It's the work of science trying to pacify our desire for junk food, but secretly replacing the junk portion with chemicals of a modern age.

The only problem is, olean can cause major shit attacks. I speak from experience. This may or may not happen to you... but it has the potential to allow for projectial liquified fecal evacuation (ie; asshole blowout).

While some of you may mutter to yourself this guy gives way too much information, I feel it's my civic duty to warn others about the destructive force of AB.

AB afflicts many of us... silently building up pressure, and then... with tremendous force, we sometimes find ourselves inconveniently far from rescue facilities. Tragedy strikes... and another victim of AB is a grim statistic.

So if, you must satisfy that craving for junk food... read the label... be an informed addict... and stay clear of olean.

No one wants to read about you in the paper... another life struck down by AB.

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